Narcissists and psychopaths are totally self absorbed creatures devoid of empathy and their only aim in life is to create as much misery, hate and pain around themselves as possible. However, to do this they try and keep their activities as secret as possible otherwise normal people would realise what they are up to. It is not until you have been targeted by one of these vile creatures that you can begin to understand the true depths of their evil and depravity. Once you have become aware of these perverted creatures it is like opening Pandora's box, you can not unlearn your new found knowledge.
Female narcissists may be much more malicious than their male counterpart and for information on female narcissists please visit this page.
Although it can be difficult to spot a narcissist/psychopath initially there are some clues which should be taken seriously when dealing with people.
- Their life is full of drama even though they often declare they do not like drama of any kind.
- They can cause an argument in an empty room.
- They will often cause an argument in a group and then leave to let it fester.
- They thrive on gossip, backstabbing and rumour; will often instigate smear campaigns.
- They like to have a group of loyal supporters (Flying Monkeys).
- They are totally self absorbed, every conversation is steered back to them.
- No empathy and in fact will enjoy other people's misfortune.
- They often contradict themselves, sometimes in the same conversation.
- They often lie even when the truth would help them more.
- They are quite often hypochondriacs and will often use illness as a means to create drama and illicit sympathy from others.
- Will say they have had a hard childhood, they are the black sheep of the family, etc, etc, etc...
- They are nosy and will often eavesdrop on private conversations.
- They are normally totally paranoid and because they lead such a hate filled life they think everyone is out to get them, even though they are really not that important!
- When talking to them there seems to be a lot of personal questions or questions on your daily routines, etc. They may provide some snippets of information to make the conversation two way but their information is likely to be false or unimportant.
- They have no respect for personal boundaries.
Listen to your gut feeling, if someone feels off to you then they re probably best avoided or at least keep contact to a minimum.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is characterized by an extreme sense of self-worth.
The term comes from a character in Greek mythology, called Narcissus. He saw his reflection in a pool of water and fell in love with it.
NPD is one of a group of conditions known as dramatic personality disorders. The person will have unstable and intense emotions and a distorted self image.
An unusual love of self, an excessive sense of importance and superiority, and a preoccupation with success and power can indicate a lack of self-confidence. NPD often involves a deep sense of insecurity and a lack of self esteem.
Below are the most common traits found in people with NPD:
- An insatiable appetite for the attention of others
- Extreme feelings of jealousy
- An expectation of special treatment
- Exaggerating achievements, talents, and importance
- Extreme sensitivity and a tendency to be easily hurt and to feel rejected with little provocation
- Difficulty maintaining healthful relationships
- Fantasizing about their own intelligence, success, power, and appearance
- An ability to take advantage of others to achieve a goal, without regret or conscience
- A lack empathy, or ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and a tendency to disregard others' feelings
- A belief that only certain people can understand their uniqueness
- A tendency to consider themselves as skilled in romance
- Responding to criticism with anger, humiliation, and shame
- Seeking out praise and positive reinforcement from others
- An expectation that others will agree with them and go along with what they want
- Whatever they crave or yearn for must be "the best"
Others may see narcissists' goals as selfish ones. They may describe the person as self-obsessed, arrogant, tough-minded, and lacking emotion.
A flying monkey is someone who does the narcissist’s bidding to inflict additional torment to the narcissist's victim. The term comes from the "Wizard of Oz" were the flying monkeys were evil creatures used to carry out the evil witches bidding without question.
They can be viewed as being the narcissist by proxy.
Once someone has been targeted by a narcissist they will find themselves surrounded by flying monkeys.
Common tactics used by flying monkeys are:
- Spying on the target.
- Spreading gossip, slander and lies perpetuating the inevitable smear campaign.
- Gaslighting the target.
- Vandalising the target's property.
- Threatening the target.
- Assaulting the target.
- Stalking the target.
- Switching the roles of the narcissist and the target
i.e. making out the narcissist is the victim and the target is the perpetrator.This is a very common tactic, beware!
Even though a flying monkey is often remarkably loyal to the narcissist the narcissist will not hesitate to scapegoat or set up the flying monkey if required. The narcissist has no loyalty to anyone other than themselves.